Setting the Stage
Let me set the stage – in 2009 and 2010 I lost both my parents. It was really a triple blow because their deaths were within six months of one another. My father’s death was expected but my mother’s was not, so I was not prepared in any way, though I didn’t know that. I thought that one just recovers automatically as one does from illness. But the reality was that I was started on a long journey, the journey to find a way to accept the unacceptable.
So, I was drowning and fortunately was able to find a counselor, Linda, who could help me with that journey. As I find, that journey of sorrow does not actually end, and you don’t finish with your grief.
You learn to bear the shadow of it when it comes over you and shed your tears when they come. You honor your dead - by gathering their loving words, their imparted wisdom, their golden example. And you also guess at their disappointments, the mistakes they felt they made. You find their hidden treasure boxes, the pictures they carefully put away, always kept, never wanted to part with.
And when I wondered why I could not move on, why my grief seemed endless, Linda told me that the grief is proportionate to the person that you lost.
So you learn not to be afraid of the shadow when it comes, and you take the time to cry your tears, and you honor your dead.
After a while you know that this is now part of your life. And during this period of walking through the worst of the grief, I realized that I had no tools, and clearly there is more grief coming. What I had always relied on was my ability to organize, schedule, arrange, and multi-task.
I can’t even tell you how useless those skills are in dealing with the heart. Maybe I already knew that, but I had forgotten.
The Three Dreams
The three dreams came maybe a week or two apart, so in quick succession, and seemed very clearly connected.
In the first dream, I was bone weary, with taking care of this baby I carried in my arms. I gave him over to a previous boss of mine in the dream. But he gave the baby right back to me, as if it were my responsibility. In the dream that seemed odd, because the baby looked like him, so it must be his?
In the second dream, I ran into another boss outside my office who invited me to go with him on a drive. Well this was crazy drive in a black sports car and we zoomed all over town but came back safely.
In the third dream, I was with another previous boss. She and I were in my favorite town, Lafayette, which is associated with creative ideas and living. She and I were redecorating a house together and it turned out very well.
Before this I was not the kind of person who remembered dreams or thought them important. But these ones were clearly important so thatI recorded them and started researching dream meanings.
Eventually I related them to Linda, and her initial thought was ‘Three Kings, and Three Gifts.’
And that turned out to be a wonderful starting point.
Starting Point for What?
This was my Unconscious Self sending dramatic messages (gifts) that were important to moving on in my life. It was probably in relation to the grief process, but also about adding things currently missing in my life. Like what? Figuring that out was my task.
The baby – This friend had recently begun a new business venture where he hoped to both pursue his creative business ideas, and be able to run according to his own philosophy. A baby in this case was a ‘Mini Me, ‘ or a look alike baby. What kind of new creative enterprise should I put my heart and soul into, which would be the imprinted with My image?
The wild ride – this friend has been known to take a sabbatical from work to take a cruise to all the developing countries in Asia, including Vietnam. He is a traveler and a mentor. In dreams since then, he has demanded to know what I am doing for adventure!
The remodeled house – this friend likes to buy a property and totally update and remodel it. She has wonderful taste in furniture and art. Once I asked her how she became the determined advocate that she is for her disabled son. She said ‘you become what you have to be.’
I really cannot explain how working with these dream role models changed me from the inside out.
And when I saw their messages and started remodeling my inner and outer life, I realized that the dreams are a tool. They are a very useful and powerful tool.
I find answers, direction, role models, and wonder. They are full of wellness and hope. And if we ask, we receive more.
I wish you wholeness and sweet dreams!
Other Dream Blogs:
10 Steps to Interpreting your Dreams
The Trinity of Faith, Hope and Love
People You Know - Family, Friends, Co-workers, Bosses
Strangers, Vampire, Cheerleaders and Foreign Folk